Gosh.

The only good thing about being stuck without an internet connection is discovering that lovely bloggers have posted LOADS of stuff and I get to read it all in one hit.

• I dreamt that John asked me to have sex with him, and I said no, so he cracked onto MY MOTHER. For some reason, I woke up more angry than completely grossed out.
• It seems to be the time of year for sleazebags to hit on me over the phone at work. I had one man say that it was only because he feared I was recording the conversation that he didn't ask me to do things that could have him arrested. And I thinking, hey, do you want me to assassinate somebody, mate? Because asking me to touch your privates probably won't get the cops round there. It is either a sleazy time of year, or my voice has finally hit its Phone Sex Operator peak.
• There is no food in the house, and no Coke and no beer! I am going to have a chicken burger but as I have no bread rolls I am having the chicken patty in bread. It is a chicken breader. With no other filling. YUM.
• John has gone for a couple of job interviews to bring in some 'spare cash' and just because he knows stupid boring stuff about stupid boring computers, they are THROWING jobs at him. Paying Over Three Times what I earn. PUNK. Punches for John.
• I finished Don Quixote! I know I can use my bollocking workhours and time spent with John as an excuse, but only Ulysses and the Lord of the Rings trilogy have taken more time to complete. I know you probably don't care, but HEY. I am excited. Now I am positively whizzing through light and fluffy books that weren't published in 1605 (and 1615) to give my head a rest. Where are the footnotes? There are no footnotes, the writing is large and the pages are few.
  

There is just one day until the weekend, and by using my clever brain I can deduce that I only have to put up with 7.25 hours of talking to braindead twats about insurance before I have two glorious days off work. HURRAH. Let us drink and be merry. Who's with me?