Pile of bollocks internet connection? Check.
A weekend stolen by work? Check.
A gut that seems to be bigger every time I look at it? Check.
And nothing to blame it on except for chocolate and beer, because the "I'm pregnant" shock tactic is completely useless due to everyone knowing that an unfeasibly long time has passed since I have had any sort of physical encounter with the opposite sex? Check.
Publicly whinging about Never Getting Any on my blog? Check.
A near punch-up the whiney bitch at the supermarket who audibly 'huffed' at me because I was trying to find a loaf of bread and therefore caused her to have to move her trolley around me? Check. Screw you, trolley bitch.
Nose running like a tap, throat feeling like there's more ulcers in there than normal throat bits, red and streaming eyes, aching body, headaches, lethargy, inability to taste, nasal voice, constant sneezing, coughing, and such vivid descriptions that I should really consider a career writing the blurbs on the back of cold and flu medication boxes?
CHECK. HOLY SHIT. CHECK.
(cough)
A weekend stolen by work? Check.
A gut that seems to be bigger every time I look at it? Check.
And nothing to blame it on except for chocolate and beer, because the "I'm pregnant" shock tactic is completely useless due to everyone knowing that an unfeasibly long time has passed since I have had any sort of physical encounter with the opposite sex? Check.
Publicly whinging about Never Getting Any on my blog? Check.
A near punch-up the whiney bitch at the supermarket who audibly 'huffed' at me because I was trying to find a loaf of bread and therefore caused her to have to move her trolley around me? Check. Screw you, trolley bitch.
Nose running like a tap, throat feeling like there's more ulcers in there than normal throat bits, red and streaming eyes, aching body, headaches, lethargy, inability to taste, nasal voice, constant sneezing, coughing, and such vivid descriptions that I should really consider a career writing the blurbs on the back of cold and flu medication boxes?
CHECK. HOLY SHIT. CHECK.
(cough)
posted by GBE at 1:04 pm
3 Comments:
Checklists are usually a lead-up to something. In this case, however, it seems to be a device to prevent the reader from dying of boredom while you winge at them.
I prefer the dot points myself.
*authoritatively applies palm to forehead to check gbe's temperature*
Mental note to use dot points because they're Mark's preference? Check.
See, making readers feel like they have some input is also good!
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