Well Ho. Ly. Shit.
On my weekend pilgrimage to the local Blockbuster, I pulled a few movies off the Arthouse shelf at random. Including a special little French film called The Piano Teacher. Oh boy, is it special. Beyond special. And by special, I mean Shit, Jesus, and a big dose of What the.
The main character in the film has several fun habits, including:
Want me to pick a movie for you next time? I'm good at it.
On my weekend pilgrimage to the local Blockbuster, I pulled a few movies off the Arthouse shelf at random. Including a special little French film called The Piano Teacher. Oh boy, is it special. Beyond special. And by special, I mean Shit, Jesus, and a big dose of What the.
The main character in the film has several fun habits, including:
- Playing the piano rather delightfully.
- Needing to compulsively do a wee because she's aroused.
- Pashing off her mother. YES HER MOTHER.
- Being really mean to people.
- Writing her new boyfriend long and meaningful letters about how she likes to be punched.
- Stabbing herself in the chest with sharp knives whilst at public functions.
- CUTTING HER VAGINA WITH RAZOR BLADES.
Want me to pick a movie for you next time? I'm good at it.
posted by GBE at 10:31 pm
12 Comments:
I'd like to comment but I'm somewhat clenched.
Clueless American here - what is "pashing off"?
Nw that's the most amusing thing I've read all week, no not the film the above post.
This reminds me of the time my mate came over to cheer me up casue I was ill and brought a DVD for us to watch. He hadn't heard anything about it but apparently his sister told him it was good.
The film was Saw. Possibly one of the most disturbing films I've ever seen. Everytime I think about it I get images of hack saws and ankles!
Needless to say we spent the first 5 mins wonderng what was going on in the movie, the rest of the movie cowering behind the sofa and after he left I spent the night with the lights on!
Jesus Fuck. I could've lived without reading that razor line.
Yet awesome.
I can relate to the piano teacher. Many's the public function at which I've wanted to stab myself in the chest.
Maisha: pashing off = making out with someone.
Sounds great! Was Gerard Depardieu in it? I believe there is a law which states he has to be in every French film.
I have spent the last six minutes in the foetal position moaning ooooohhhhh.
My life was better seven minutes ago.
Ever read American Psycho?
Both make me feel as nauseous as the current Neighbours scene before me which has Dr Karl and Jenny the politician about to get jiggy in bed.
Razor blades in the gina? Holy shite! I'm crossing my legs tightly as i type.
Razor blades in the gina? Holy shite! I'm crossing my legs tightly as i type.
Nails, I'm sorry for the mental imagery. Just be glad that anything your mind can come up with will be nowhere near as bad as the scene itself.
Maisha, yep, as Mark said, it means making out with someone. I think it's somehow derived from 'kissing passionately'. Or something.
Well ta, Nobody. :-)
Guy, I hope you punched that mate square in the jaw for that one. If somebody sat me down in front of Saw I would go get a saw of my own to show them my appreciation. (I'm really not too keen on horror movies...)
Lucy, sorry about that. Think happy thoughts.
Mark, I think that drinking yourself into a stupor or hiding in a small room would be better (and less painful) than stabbing yourself in the chest. There's always a better way.
Pomgirl, believe it or not, it did not star Gerard. But they made up for it by including a couple of trailers featuring him.
Phishez, let's think about rainbows, and lollipops, and kittens...
Audrey, I haven't read American Psycho, and if it contains any razor blade/vagina nastiness then I don't think I will. I secretly suspect that Dr. Karl was probably hot 30 years ago.
Ah, Steph, ta for double the commenty goodness.
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