Shit buggery bollocks.
Today is the second of May, and I have just realised that my mother's birthday is on the fifth of May. Which, just in case you can't count, are two dates within the same month. I am a shite daughter for completely forgetting up until now. But I figure it's better to remember three days earlier than three days later.
So I'll work out what she wants tonight, and then I'll buy it tomorrow, and all will be well.
My dilemma: my mother is impossible to buy for. Not just impossible, but Im. Possible. This is because she doesn't like Mum Things at all. Try and give my mum a pretty scarf and she'll use it to tie up the passionfruit vine in the backyard. Give her the latest Celine Dion CD and she'll be resting the kettle on it by the end of the day.
This is my mum. She's a tops mum.
Because of this, I have developed a method of deciding on birthday/Christmas gifts. This method is as follows.
Me: Hey mum, what do you want for your birthday?
How's that for a method? Mm? Eh?
Mum: Oh, you don't have to get me anything.
Me: Mum. Just tell me what you want.
Mum: Oh no, you have bills and rent and things.
Me: Tell me.
Mum: I could do with a new pair of socks.
Me: Please name a present that costs more than $5.
Mum: Ok. I need new gardening shears, another clock radio, and my DVD player broke the other day.
Because if I get her something pretty, ornamental and useless, it'll sit in a cupboard and gather dust.
Lately, I seem to be concluding more and more often that my mother and I are fricking identical.
Today is the second of May, and I have just realised that my mother's birthday is on the fifth of May. Which, just in case you can't count, are two dates within the same month. I am a shite daughter for completely forgetting up until now. But I figure it's better to remember three days earlier than three days later.
So I'll work out what she wants tonight, and then I'll buy it tomorrow, and all will be well.
My dilemma: my mother is impossible to buy for. Not just impossible, but Im. Possible. This is because she doesn't like Mum Things at all. Try and give my mum a pretty scarf and she'll use it to tie up the passionfruit vine in the backyard. Give her the latest Celine Dion CD and she'll be resting the kettle on it by the end of the day.
This is my mum. She's a tops mum.
Because of this, I have developed a method of deciding on birthday/Christmas gifts. This method is as follows.
Me: Hey mum, what do you want for your birthday?
How's that for a method? Mm? Eh?
Mum: Oh, you don't have to get me anything.
Me: Mum. Just tell me what you want.
Mum: Oh no, you have bills and rent and things.
Me: Tell me.
Mum: I could do with a new pair of socks.
Me: Please name a present that costs more than $5.
Mum: Ok. I need new gardening shears, another clock radio, and my DVD player broke the other day.
Because if I get her something pretty, ornamental and useless, it'll sit in a cupboard and gather dust.
Lately, I seem to be concluding more and more often that my mother and I are fricking identical.
posted by GBE at 4:34 pm
10 Comments:
My mum also chuck in "I don't mind, just as long as it's a suprise" (yes, that's AFTER she's said what she "wouldn't mind")
I think that's in a mum's job description.
Fortunately (?) the door of her bathroom cabinet has broken off so we get to buy her a bigger, newer cabinet.
It was that or tickets to The Boy From Oz but that'd mean either me or my sister would have to go along and see it too.
I suppose one of us could do it. She is an angel after all.
Jesus, that's some industrial-strength niceness from Rowan. I bet he smiles in his sleep. Like, constantly.
For mine, people never have enough wall clocks. Get her one of those.
Thankfully my mother is a bookworm so her presents are pretty much sorted. It's my dad that's hard to buy for. He's on May 8. Shudder.
Meanwhile, Rowan wash your mouth out! The Boy From Oz is the best musical in the entire world. The only thing wrong with this one is that Todd McKenna's birthright role will be filled by Hugh Jackman. Scandalous.
Seriously, it's an ace musical. My favourite.
Why don't you buy her a chili bush? I think they look pretty and they definitely taste nice - it would be the quintessential useful, pretty gift.
Spot on!! And i apologize for the remark about "down under" in a previous reply. As a "Yank" I was un aware that this was an insult. Please accept my humble apologies as I completely enjoy your blog. It's one of about six that I read every time I sign on. Keep up the good work, and if you are ever curious about a whacko American "old fart" blog feel free to ask and I'll give you my address.
P,S. It's "pubtimes.blogspot.com" and frankly being in your twenty-somethings is not a lot diffrent from my 60-somethings except my reactions are slower and I've consumed a few more barrels of Guinness in a life time, and enjoyed the ride. As Helen Keller one said, "Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing!"
I've come to the conclusion over the years that I am turning into my mother. This is something that is inescapable and that has, quite possible, actually already happened without me noticing. Given that it is happening, or has already happened, and there's bugger all i can do to prevent it, I'm embracing this fact and taking notes while I'm able to fully understand what the hell's going on.
I love my mother, she's just a bit mad
x
Mums:- they do seem to fall into 2 distinct sub-sets.
(a) the "Mumsy" presents type; chocolates, flowers, the pretty scarf, the scented "smellies", the dvd of some chic flick, books
and
(b) the "Other" sort: power tools, microwaves, new dyson, a tree, PC software, new mobile phone, DVD recorders
Mine is in the later group. She is a practical sort and has never been too bothered with the former.
It's great
And its her birthday on the 16th!
Enny, my mum doesn't make the effort to look surprised because I'm crap at playing along. The only time I've ever surprised her was when I saved my pennies and bought her a VCR when I was about 16. VCR on student pay had me in the 'such a thoughtful daughter' books for AGES.
Rowan, the bathroom cabinet idea is great. My mum would totally love it. If I bought Boy From Oz tix for her, on the other hand, she'd say "oh, thank you, darling. And what is it, exactly?"
Mark, I've actually already done the clock present, so any more will just mean multiple clocks per room. Which could work out well, if she turns out to be one of those old nutty people who synchronise their hundreds of clocks every morning.
Audrey, my mum likes books too but she doesn't do fiction. Strange, as she used to be a librarian and read everything she could get her hands on. I wonder if I'll switch when I get older (and inevitably become my mother).
Don, I suspect that you're one of those people who's Very Good at buying presents. If you would like a part-time job I can hire you every May 5th to be my official present picker.
Mr. Guinness, I'm hoping the only difference between my 60's and 20's will be the size of my pants. I'll have a wee squiz at your blog in a mo.
Ellie, it's strange because I always thought I'd turn out completely different to my mother. I'm finding more and more ways in which I resemble her.
Brett, my mum is definitely the latter category too, but she doesn't know what a PC is, or software, and the concept of a DVD recorder would confuse the crap out of her. Good luck with your present hunting!
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