Hello there. I work, and sleep, and have no life. I play Pink on the guitar. Yes, you can punch me for that. I am teaching my bird Spanish, and he whistles the phrase instead of saying it, and this is about to lead to some serious Bird Slaughter. Mock me, will you, Reg? I'll show you, bird punk.
I wear grandpa vests to work in grandpa colours. Old Man Cup of Tea Brown is a favourite, as is When I Was A Youngun In The War Green. The married man at work invited me to dinner with his wife, and I was very weirded out, and also feeling guilty for suspecting him of wanting to put his thingy in my thingy, since he wants me to meet his wife and chat and eat.
I've been watching DVD's. This week it's been Secretary, Full Metal Jacket, Mulholland Drive and Disco Pigs, and I enjoyed Secretary way too much, which I secretly suspect has something to do with never having sex ever never ever. Maybe it is my secret fantasy to have a good-looking boss who spanks me. Maybe. (YES)
I accidentally crushed a loaf of bread on the walk home. And I was carrying a hundred things, and so annoyed by it that I wanted to throw everything on the floor and stamp on it all, and seeing that crushed loaf of bread meant that I actually could've done it anyway, and my burning desire for stampage would have been sated.
Tonight's soup is some sort of Malaysian Laksa, because I came to the conclusion that I have actually tried Every. Single. Soup in the soupermarket (ha). I wish I was at Split Enz tonight. The World Cup tips are in and I'm actually excited about watching it, even if my knowledge of the game only extends as far as "hey, you, kicking bloke! Go, um, kick the ball in that goal thing! Go on! Yeah." I bought a really cheap ironing board which turned out to be made of wood, and it makes my clothes smell piney. And a bit sappy.
...
Every now and then, a blogger reaches a point where she/he realises she/he has no one topic to rant and rave about, and that she/he is neglecting her/his blog because of it, and suddenly spews forth masses of absolute shit to fill the non-blogging void.
Welcome to my moment.
I wear grandpa vests to work in grandpa colours. Old Man Cup of Tea Brown is a favourite, as is When I Was A Youngun In The War Green. The married man at work invited me to dinner with his wife, and I was very weirded out, and also feeling guilty for suspecting him of wanting to put his thingy in my thingy, since he wants me to meet his wife and chat and eat.
I've been watching DVD's. This week it's been Secretary, Full Metal Jacket, Mulholland Drive and Disco Pigs, and I enjoyed Secretary way too much, which I secretly suspect has something to do with never having sex ever never ever. Maybe it is my secret fantasy to have a good-looking boss who spanks me. Maybe. (YES)
I accidentally crushed a loaf of bread on the walk home. And I was carrying a hundred things, and so annoyed by it that I wanted to throw everything on the floor and stamp on it all, and seeing that crushed loaf of bread meant that I actually could've done it anyway, and my burning desire for stampage would have been sated.
Tonight's soup is some sort of Malaysian Laksa, because I came to the conclusion that I have actually tried Every. Single. Soup in the soupermarket (ha). I wish I was at Split Enz tonight. The World Cup tips are in and I'm actually excited about watching it, even if my knowledge of the game only extends as far as "hey, you, kicking bloke! Go, um, kick the ball in that goal thing! Go on! Yeah." I bought a really cheap ironing board which turned out to be made of wood, and it makes my clothes smell piney. And a bit sappy.
...
Every now and then, a blogger reaches a point where she/he realises she/he has no one topic to rant and rave about, and that she/he is neglecting her/his blog because of it, and suddenly spews forth masses of absolute shit to fill the non-blogging void.
Welcome to my moment.
posted by GBE at 5:20 pm
13 Comments:
I beleive when you reach that point it is time to begin publishing spam and memes.
I am inlove with you.......we should meet!
Re phishez's comment - please for the love of all that is good in this world do not do memes. If you do I'll.....fuck, I have no ammunition here.
Oh and who's this jason boy and what are his intentions?
Married man wants to take you to dinner with his wife? Please, please go - I desperately want to read your discription of how they've invited you over for some very adult fun and games...
Lucy, I'd dearly like to know what's with Jason as well - he's left a message on my blog with a blog of his own that doesn't seem to exist. I don't like inheriting other people's stalkers. I want stalkers of my own.
Whats all the fuss about ladies? I certainly would not consider myself a stalker (sorry to disappoint). I just love the way girlblogetc writes and expresses herself. She is lovely!
Isnt it sad that the world had become so insensitive, we have been forced to create our reality over cyberspace. It is the only place most people really are able to express themselves freely (forms part of my research). People are most happy when their percieved reality is reflected back to them, and cyberspace is perfect for this. Its a refuge.
And yes, I do have a site, its new and I am not sure how it all works.
www.alternativeresistance.blogspot.com
I have noticed your writing, and dreaming, has become sex-charged of late. Maybe it is your bedtime reading material? Nope, that book, like the real life man, is rather void in the sex department.
At least your British heartthrob will soon be joining you. That should sort things for awhile.
I second Jason. The world has become a hideous nightmare where might makes right, random spankings are frequent and only the ruthless and amoral prosper.
I also second Nails, in that the only way to cope with this is to join your neighbours for some steamy harcore action. Good luck. Send photos.
wait wait... what's wrong with random spankings??
Well, I got spanked by a strange old man down the street the other day. It was random. It wasn't very pleasant.
I think that the spankings need to be deliberate rather than random.
I liked the bit about the smashed loaf of bread. Very liberating, that.
Hmm... I think Lividia has a point, but so does Don - creepy-old-man-spankings are to be avoided at all costs. At any rate, and with the bigger picture in mind, I move that Jason be exempted henceforth from spanking of ANY kind. You with paddle: drop it.
*the
Phishez, would you believe that I have actually been considering posting actual spam received in my Junk Mail Inbox, because it's my latest obsession. The subject lines amuse me no end. Because I am sad.
Jason. Um. I doubt very much whether you love me. I am actually a 6'4" footballer named Barry. I ride motorbikes, and, um, have a beard. And an eyepatch.
Lucy, I'll admit I've given in to meme temptation in the past. When people tag me, I can't say no. I'm too polite. That's what it is.
Nails, I had not considered that possibility with the married chap. I don't know what his very heavily pregnant wife has in mind. I am planning on going over there, but I'm not staying for dinner, and John will be here at that time so he can come and protect me/keep me company.
Jason, I think I do express myself a hell of a lot better through here rather than in real life. Here, I can tell myself that people laugh at my crap jokes. And Jason, your website doesn't seem to work for me.
Ah, Don, my British heartthrob indeed. Yes, I have invited Colin Firth over (with a tempting 'I'll let you look at my underpants'), but am still waiting for a response. Oh, bollocks, you mean John.
Mark, I guess shagging them would fix the current work atmosphere right up. No more embarrassed silences. When you've seen eachothers rude parts, there's always something to talk about.
Lividia, I don't think there's anything wrong with random spankings, though I must say I have my preferences as far as the spanker is concerned.
Don. This is very intriguing indeed, and I must insist you elaborate ASAP.
Marcheline, I think we all need to crush things every now and then. It's good for us.
Mark, if you could work on that list of potential spankers and pass it on to me, I'd be grateful. Ta.
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