You will be interested to know that when you purchase a pair of stockings, they come with a built-in CROTCH PATCH.
(Seriously, people. Fill me in. Am I not supposed to wear underpants? Because I wear underpants. Is it there for added warmth? Or just in case I wee myself? Or is it there so that when you take off your skirt in front of somebody, all they can see is a crotch patch? A man repellant? "Oh, golly gosh, I'm jolly glad that I had my crotch patch, or Bobby would've rogered me senseless. Not to mention all the wee it caught and how lovely and warm it kept me. I love you, crotch patch.")
The secrets of women... REVEALED!!!
posted by GBE at 7:52 pm
11 Comments:
I could never figure out the purpose of the crotch patch. Perhaps it's just a further measure to make high waisted tights even more unattractive? I just don't know.
oh, ye gods and little fishes... you are one funny tart!
btw, the crotch patch is supposed to allow you NOT to wear undies (no panty lines that way) AND to let men know that you're running around with no panties on when they see you're wearing stockings.... heh!
there's an old joke about a guy who came back from the military after being gone a couple of years... he jumps on his wife the moment he gets in the door, and afterwards he says he noticed her toes were bobbing up and down during the massive orgy- did that mean she had a good time? She says no, it means you forgot to take my pantyhose off before you jumped me....
HA!
the joke never mentions the crotch patch, however...
AS I am not lady, I am not totally up to speed on hoisery but it was my understanding that it was built in to avoid discomfort from seams, unseemly seams if you want.
[Much like that pair of pants you discussed in a previous post; the camel-toe briefs.]
So maybe they are to avoid unwanted friction or chaffing of lady bits by a central seam, as this gusset would appear to avoid that. The patch would appear to have seams that "go round" not "straight over" or indeed "through" more sensitive areas.
With out giving too much away, is this a regular concern for women? Interfering seams?
/I am struggling to avoid too graphic a reference to the more interesting parts of the female anatomy
I have also wondered about the undies/no undies debate, the crotch patch suggests one go commando.
I've never been able to find stockings with long enough legs, so since Primary School I've been doing the dual undies trick, one pair underneath, another pair over the stocking to keep them up.
Maybe the crotch patch would allow me to just go with the pair over the top. So many decisions!
When I was in primary school, my mum would only buy me the thick wooly stockings - I was never allowed the trendier thinner (and colder!) type.
One day while we were doing 'backwards tables' on the parallel bars, my dress came up a bit too far and my skungyless (sp?!) crotched panties were seen.
There was a lot of teasing about it being to allow to me wet myself.
I'M SO GLAD PPL HAVE PROVIDED OTHER OPINIONS ON WHAT IT'S FOR!!!
Delightful Jen, I also double knicker it up but that's in case my skirt flies up and said crotch shot is revealed...
Audrey, they are pretty hideous when seen in all their glory. It just doesn't seem worth it for that flash of stockinged leg.
Marcheline, I really never knew that people didn't wear underpants under stockings. I didn't know they could be substitute underpants. Sheer, very long legged, substitute underpants. I am going to look at ladies with stockings a whole new way, now.
Brett, after I posted, I had a similar thought and remembered the earlier post also. I imagine a nylon seam in that area would be even worse than Middle Seam Underpants. Hmm. You may be onto something.
Jen, I was perplexed when I bought stockings. Do I have normal legs, long legs, extra-long longs, short legs, or stumpy legs? I jest, for there were no stumpy legged stockings on offer. But oh, how I would've laughed. I picked normal, and they seem to do the trick, though they sort of started working their way down so maybe I am wrong. This double undies idea is new and innovative to me. I am really not up to speed with all this girl stuff.
Enny, kids are cruel little shits. I hope you have bought many pairs of sheer, cold, trendy stockings to compensate.
When I was a kid (like grade 4) one of my buddies looked up another girls skirt (yes, it turns out she WAS a lesbian) and asked her what the crotch bit was for.
We were told it so to stop the boys seeing your undies. Funny but I've never thought about that since then
lol i dont remember how i came across this blog but i lolled hard @ this post and your "i am crap and my profile proves it" bit.. this sort of shit reminds me when i took it to my lady friends with the idea of a thermal g-string for thsoe cold winter nights... oO
I know I'm 5 months late in contributing to this post, but I've only just discovered this blogging thing.
Anyhoo
I, too, am an afficionado of the wearing of the jocks over the pantihose thing. I have long legs, and the bloody things creep down if I don't.
There's not one, but TWO unreplied-to comments on this post?!? Well. Welly well well.
Myrmician, thank you muchly for lolling at my gibberish. And I would wager your lady friend was not amused!
hawkeye23, yet another person to verify this previously unheard of phenomenon. I am still puzzled. I have not worn stockings since the sun started shining again (for fear of Queensland death) but will have to give it a go next Winter.
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