Good weekend, chaps and chapettes?
There was Friday night revelry, with:
There was Friday night revelry, with:
- 8 vodka + mixers.
- 7 trips to the toilet, as I wondered whether my bladder had shrivelled up to the size of a peanut.
- 6 lecherous sleazebags trying to vigorously rub their crotches on me.
- 5 very packed mouthfuls of pizza, post-booze.
- 4 near-stacks as I drunkenly tripped around the dancefloor.
- 3 weird, paralysing stomach cramps, which hit at about 7am and made me wonder what the hell was in that pizza. Spinach and fetta and POISON.
- 2 faux-lesbian couples, pashing for the sake of attracting attention from men. Girls like that shit me off.
- 1 stupid bloody 'I am NEVER drinking again' headache. I'm never drinking again.
We watched Serenity. And then that movie about the 40-year old virgin. With that funny guy in it. And I laughed. And ate cake. Cake. Laughing. Virgins. But most importantly, cake.
I dislike work. Let's all quit together. On the count of three.
posted by GBE at 6:08 pm
7 Comments:
I'm with you on the work quitting thing. Tomorrow is my first day back after a week off. I feel like an unhappy kid on the last day of school holidays. I may have to cry/fake illness/go postal.
Yes. Let's quit!
Okay, enough farting around. What the hell is "pashing"??????
Acting gay? Kissing? Making suggestive faces? Posing with forest mammals?
I must know.
- M
At least they were vigorously rubbing their crotches on you. I mean, how insulting would it be if they were half-heartedly rubbing their crotches on you?
Is it just me or does the straight man interest in lesbians make no sense to anyone else???? If they're lesbians then why would they be interested in guys?
I think your Pizza problem stems from the toppings... Spinach and Fetta on a pizza!?!?! No. I wont have it. It's criminal.
Finally, consider yourself lucky - it's been a long time since a random stranger has come and rubbed their, well anything up against me. I think I'm jealous now
Virgin movie....so damn funny! That guy kills me especially the scene of him in his house singing 80's music - karaoke - Word up!
Quit? If it were not for the bills that would stack up, I would blow this popsicle stand so fast it would spin heads.
I think the things with lesbians is that most men realise sex would look better if they weren't actually involved in it.
Can you pls write a new post without lesbians or underpants or anything like that in it so I don't feel like I have my mind in the gutter every time I come here? Jeez.
Nails, work sucks at the best of the times, but nothing can compare to the horror of work after a week of work-free bliss. I'm shuddering thinking about it.
M, pashing is a very 'I'm 14' way of saying 'kissing'. Like, 'Oh my God, you totally want to pash him. Like, totally.'
Don, If I could remain crotch-free I would be stoked, but that is a very valid point, and I really should be flattered...
Kezza, spinach and fetta aren't that bad, particularly when you've had too much to drink and you're cramming it into your mouth so fast you can't actually taste it. And rubbing's not a bad thing, except for when the rubber is a slimy old man with a string of drool hanging from his mouth, and I am the rubbee.
MJ, that guy cracks me up, too. Totally stole the show in Anchorman.
Come on now, Mark. Everyone loves smut. But just for you, I will write solely about the perils of insurance, and hardly ever mention lesbians without underpants.
Post a Comment
<< Home