Things to do when John is away in New Zealand for a night:
- Watch made-for-TV movies and realise afterwards that you've just wasted numerous hours of your life.
- Blog, when you should actually be looking for jobs.
- Watch Monster's Ball and think 'woah, she really did deserve that Oscar.'
- Yes, I am aware that this constitutes a pretty sad Saturday night.
- Cough your guts up.
- Wonder why the hell you're STILL sick.
- Do your washing.
- Have a MASSIVE orgy. With booze and whores and booze!
- Get drunk! Yeah!
- Do something wacky, like steal a car or flash your underpants at strangers!
- Watch a foreign movie... without the subtitles!
- Eat your soup straight out of the tin!
- Take your medication at the appropriate time and go to bed!
posted by GBE at 9:44 pm
8 Comments:
You really could end up with a nice line in self help books. Can spicing up Saturday nights be combined with your diet?
Um, yes, hello!
I've 'discovered' your blog through the lovely Miss Pom, and i just wanted to say how - pardon me french - fucking ace you are!
Right. That is all.
p.s.: surely, do get well soon (have you ever tried fresh lemon juice with honey? my mum swears that it does wonders for the soar throat - although i could not vouch myself since i absolutely HATE honey - but if you don't think it is the most vile sweety-liquid ever, then that could work. i don't think my mum would try to kill me or anything.)
(Hah, no one ever suspects their mum - until it's too late!)
I had an orgy last night with hookers and booze and hookers, but you weren't invited.
It's not the silent treatment if you can hear our ecstatic moaning from your place.
heh you are the party QUEEN :)
I don't think my Saturdays could get any spicier! I just sit around and pet my cats! I'm trouble!
You know.. after many a Saturday night w/ hookers and booze and booze and hookers.. oh it's all so old hat sugar. Really - staying home w/ rented flics, some haagen dazs, and the cat is the way to go. Cry your eyes out at some movie the boy wouldn't dream of watching and cover yourself up w/ 8 blankets and burn that virus out of you. Hope you start to feel better soon!
Nails, I think I'll keep them as two separate books for the sake of earning more cash (as I'm sure I'd sell millions). I could sell them together as a GBE Self-Help Pack though.
Hello Vapidly Vibrant! I am highly chuffed at being referred to as ace, as most people normally call me 'git' or 'knobhead.' And I would like to agree that Miss Pom is highly lovely. I suspect if your mother wanted to kill you she would've sorted you out when you were small and defenseless and all that, and no, I'm yet to try the lemon and honey technique but it does seem to be a pretty popular combo. I'm feeling all better at the moment but I'll keep it in mind for the next time I'm horribly ill, which will be in about three hours time, given my track record.
Mark, why was I not invited? Were you scared I would pass my sickness onto the hookers and fall asleep in the corner after drinking booze? I am, of course, incredibly offended.
Madame Boffin, yes indeed my dear, I am at the TOP of everyone's invite list.
MHE! Woah! Your CATS?! Crazy! I bet those cats purr and meow and stuff and EVERYTHING. That shit is bananas.
Miss Devylish - Best. Idea. Ever. Except I have Cadbury mint/chocolate ice cream, which will have to do in place of the good ol' Haagen and I have a squawky shit of a parrot in place of a cat, which is, uh, sort of the same. I watched movies about dancing, and they were mostly rubbish but allowed me to live out my Attractive Dancing Men fantasy for a whole evening. Yeah!
When you write that book please express post it to me? And if you go for the whole series (weekdays taht is), I'll buy it too. My life-finding adventure was a bust.
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