Four days until the weekend!
- I am foolishly going to tell you about the marvellous job I am applying for. This is foolish because I will rant and rave and sound overkeen and then if I do not get it (and it is fabulous, whereas I am a bit mediocre in general, so I am unsuccessfully trying not to get my hopes up/stake my entire life on it) then we will have to throw a humungous pity party and eat cream cakes and lard sandwiches to make me feel better. It is government (cushy), contract (better pay), and not in insurance (HURRAH!). I would quite like to marry it and have its babies. But all I can do is cross my fingers and my toes and bullshit like a trooper on my application, because I am sure that a million and twelve people have applied for it.
- Has anyone else noticed a sudden influx in the number of flies around the place? That is, going from no flies, to a MILLION flies? Have I moved out of my house, and into a bin? A house-sized bin with all amenities, and three-week old slabs of meat in place of furniture? Because I do not understand why I am suddenly the Lady of the Flies. They are all buzzing about and shagging in mid-air and sucking on the wine stains on the carpet and I am NOT HAPPY.
- All the laydeez are wearing summer dresses at the moment, and I am forever looking at them swishing about and being all flowy and sighing wistfully, because every dress I have ever tried on has made me look like Mrs. Blobby in floral print. 'Hey!' say the dress designers. 'I know what I'll do! Let's make this dress so it's loose and hangs off the bust, but is tight around the stomach, so that girls with a beer gut look like shit! Yeah!' But, after all the girl perving, I decided to give dresses a second chance and chose three to try on. And I can only conclude that they have hired actual women to design the dresses, rather than Girl-Hating-Bitch-Designers, because they ALL fit me. I tried to toss up between them, and then couldn't, and bought them all. I AM POOR. But I am rich in dresses! Now I shall whirl and twirl and my skirt will inevitably be blown up by the wind when I am wearing hideous underpants.
posted by GBE at 6:13 pm
17 Comments:
Good luck with the job! I like the dresses that hug the boobs but are floaty around the waist too.
Sigh. I wish I had more money for clothes too.
Yep, just bought my first dress *ever* a few weeks ago. And GODDAMN I feel hot in it... mmm mmm mmm :)
Good luck with the job!
P.S. All dresses are evil, and summer is evil; oh, and flies are evil. And if you don't get your dream job that will be evil too.
Px
A new job sounds like just what you need!!! Does Insurance really suck that much? A lot of people seem to be trying to get out of it lately...
Govt. jobs are cushy...especially around Christmas time. So you would be starting just in time!!!
Post pictures of the dresses!! I love dresses but I hate heels so sometimes the dresses look slightly strange...
Good luck with the new job!! Government jobs are the way to go, I hope you get it!
I am also suffering from dress angst at the moment, there is just nothing which suits me at the moment. Let me know if you find something lovely :)
I thought I was the only one who had "issues" with laydeelike dresses. I'm glad someone else does, too.
I bought an extremely pretty dress on the weekend and then wore it to a dinner that night. Everyone and his dog felt obliged to comment and ogle my cleveage as it was slightly revealed in the dress. Be careful in your dresses in case this happens to you!
I have a thing for skirts at the moment. Unfortunately, floaty wispy sorts of skirts that expose my underwear at inappropriate times in the street. Mind you, that does make me feel like Marilyn Munroe so that's not all bad ;) I would like more dresses but Bowen isn't exactly the shopping capital of Queensland.
Ellie x
You just gotta make sure you're wearing your good undies, Ellie, not the ratty, elastic exposed and lint ball covered black ones shoved right at the back of your collection. Strickly for period time, those :P
I've often wondered at how those summer dresses, which have the potential to make a boy's heart explode into a pulpy mess, often wind up looking a bit unflattering and awkward.
PS. Did someone say pot noodles? Now I know what to have for tea.
Ew flies. Hate them. But yay for swishy dresses that fit!
You make it sound wrong? Vegetarian milk for her and real milk for him. Mars and Venus really.
Healthy eating is simply scoffing anything before it's "Use By" date.
Mind you, if we are what we eat then I'm probably cheap, fast and easy.
I think the phrase 'But I am rich in dresses' is probably the best thing any girl wrote anywhere. I'm so stealing this.
Hooray for summer dresses!
Loving it to death.
You'll get the job. Fingers and toes crossed anyway.
Good luck with the job. I love your blog and look forward to reading more. Have a great weekend! :)
totally agree with the flies. and mosquitos too, un-frikkin-believable. wat pesky lil things they are.
good luck with the job.
Susanne, I hear ya. I have no dosh at all right now and my credit card is yelling at me loudly, trying to make me go shopping. Curse that evil thing.
Ilse, it's really out of character for me because I generally wear the plainest clothes I can find. I don't know where this part came from. Maybe I realised that after 23 years, it's probably about time I tried to look like a girl.
Pomgirl, thank you, lovely. And most things are indeed evil. If I don't get this job, I will flail about and say loudly 'well, I didn't want it ANYWAY.'
Lulu, insurance is pretty boring. It's not that bad, really, but the area I'm in (i.e. an inbound call centre) is absolute hell. There's other departments I could go to, but when I think about it, they all sound pretty awful too. I thin it's best to jump ship. I'll see if I can put one of the dresses into the next sidebar pic, if I ever manage to take one (I am lazy.). And none of these dresses suit heels, thankfully. Hooray!
Jen, I hope I get it too! It's a contract ending in the middle of next year but I figure once I'm in, if I do a decent job then I can probably convince them to let me stay. Right? Unless, of course, I decide that I hate it. In which case I am free to leave, hurrah!
hawkeye23, they just don't fit most girls. My other big thing with dressy tops and dresses is that they usually cause me to forever flash my boobs/bra. Which would be great, if I was a stripper or a tart. The new ones retain my modesty though. Yay!
killerrabbit, these dresses are pretty modest. There's a bit of boob action, but not too much. Just in case, though, I will plaster myself with that double-sided skin tape and perhaps wear a very large jumper.
Ellie, I've never been very good at skirts. And when I do wear one, I feel like everyone's staring at it and then I feel all uncomfortable and wish I was in my jeans. I am crap at this girl business.
Mark, I am going to wear a dress and watch all the boys to see if any hearts explode. I might forget to look if I am frantically preoccupied with holding my skirt down in opposition to the bastardly wind. I have been on a pot noodle frenzy lately. So cheap! So tasty!
Miss Devylish, I hate flies also. They are true bastards. But dresses, hurrah!
Southozbloke, hold on, I make which bit sound wrong? Is this the milk carton thing? I am very confused. I like real milk! I don't like vegetarian milk! Um.
Adam, ok, for saying such a lovely thing you are fully entitled to steal it and use it as you see fit. As long as you don't associate the phrase with distasteful pornography, or Lindsay Lohan.
Steph, thank you, I hope so muchly but I'm trying not to think about it too much. I put so much bullshit into the application that I figure I'll at least get an interview out of it. I won't hear anything until November, anyway. Sigh. Stupid slow-working government.
Hello a novelist! Thank you! My weekend is mucho boring at the moment, but I love it because it isn't work.
Treespotter, ta, I am so glad that somebody else is understanding of the fly thing because it's driving me bananas. It would probably help if I didn't live in a 100-year old unit that has an unusually-sized door which can never be fitted with a fly screen.
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