Random bollocks.

• Somebody is playing that Starsailor "four to the floor I was sure" song.
• I can smell onions.
• I called Virgin to let them know my change of address, and finished the conversation with "thanks for calling." And then the Virgin lady laughed at me. Lots.
• Reg has managed to cover 25% of the floor with seed. Which isn't that hard, given the size of the floor.
• Ooh, now I smell oranges. Seriously, oranges and onions? What ARE you thinking, neighbours?
• A mental old lady with two and a half teeth asked me for money, and after I'd said no (I'm a harsh bitch) and walked past her, she turned on her heel and started STALKING ME. I picked up my pace and ran across the road, thinking 'I can so take her on. She's old and brittle.' Then the crazy old hag went elsewhere.
• I can't find my wheelie bin. I went outside to the Wheelie Bin Bit, and there's one for every unit but mine. I HAVE BEEN EXCLUDED. Well fine, you shits, stick my rubbish square up your arses.
• I told my mother the suburb I had moved to and she said "oh, I used to live there 40 years ago. At blahblah st." And then I said "mum, I'm moving to blahblah st" and then I realised that I am actually LIVING MY MOTHER'S LIFE, forty years after she lived it. Better get onto that five kids thing, quick smart.
  

Soup of the evening: bacon, steak and potato. Mm, soup diet.