Monday, April 09, 2007

[Boring travel rubbish, Part Two. Part One be here. Aiiii!]

First of all:



Ooh!



And, ahh! Check out all of those sea lion babies. Sea lions are busybusy.

So, after all of those stomach-churning activities, we checked into a hotel which was lovely, and completely deserted except for a couple of German men in shorts. The hotel had a couple of llamas, it's own cock-fighting ring, and the most mango-laden trees I have EVER seen.



Check that shit! South Americans sure know how to do their fruit.

I went to bed while everyone else drank and made merry. But all of that sleep hit the spot, and I was tip-top the next day. Hurrah! Speaking of the next day, we checked out a gold mine where the person presenting started SQUIRTING MERCURY around the place, and HEY, that's mercury right there, could you please not squirt it at me, kthx.

Also on this next day, we checked out how the local folk made pottery, and the guy showed us how they made it shiny using the oil from their skin. This involved the rubbing of his nose on some pottery. Whacky! We all then went and bought some of this pottery, and there's now a pot thing hanging on our wall which has been glazed with a man's nose. Are you jealous?

Open graves!



Man, I don't know about you, but I have seen enough skeletons to last me a lifetime.

We stayed the night in Puerto Inca, which is basically a pretty cove which was purchased by a German man who turned it into a resort for gringos and rich Peruvians. There's lots of ruins around the place if one fancies a walk, and about a million open graves. These ones aren't in the least bit protected by any inconvenient barriers, so hey, feel free to grab a handful of bones and wave them around, send them home, whatever floats your boat.





We had a Sangria Party, which basically consisted of getting a lot of campfire smoke in our eyes, getting burnt when we tried to toast marshmallows, and playing cards until the wee hours. It was followed by a trip to the discoteka, where we were the only people there (this is a bit of a theme - the joys of visiting in the off-season) and they actually went and got the DJ out of bed so he could play us a Queen megamix, while two of us danced and watched the whacky light effects (strobe, anyone?), the tour guide danced while he watched his own reflection in the mirror, and about 20 locals stood off to the side and discreetly watched us.

We slept off our hangovers the next day on the journey to Arequipa. Well, we tried to, but those crazy Peruvians have built the windiest, twistiest, most stomach-churning roads you have ever seen, and the driver was doing lots of overtaking on blind corners. There was little snippets of sleep, mixed in with nausea, and a bit of fearing for my life, etc.



Arequipa had:
  • Most excellent coffee.
  • Three cuba libres for 10 sol. Translation: three reallysuperstrong rum & cokes for $4.
  • Lovely architecture, see above, etc. etc.
  • A zillion churches, and a convent.


This is a nun's toilet.



Those crazy nuns also keep making outfits for Mary and Jesus, which is a lovely gesture, though I'm not sure when they're expecting them to drop by to try on their new threads.

Arequipa was also where we met up with another chunk of our tour group, because the tour company had decided that our tour would join up with another group half-way through, and then lose some people a bit further on, very confusing, pain in the arse, etc. We settled into our musty hotel with doors that sometimes refused to open and tried to prepare ourselves for some major altitude.

Coming in Part Three: Everything that I said would be in Part Two. Ha!



This is a tin of Peruvian tuna. Would you like some?

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how it's 'Al Natural' also...

Fishy!

2:27 pm  
Blogger phishez said...

Mmm. Grated fanny. Gotta get me some of that.

There's a 'smells like tuna...' line I could use right here but its too easy.

4:46 pm  
Blogger Marcheline said...

Brings new meaning to the old phrase "eat my fanny". If there really was an old phrase like that.

Well, there could have been. Don't look at me like that.

- M

12:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Open graves? Gross. There would be birds.

5:20 pm  
Blogger GBE said...

Michelle, I thought it was hilarious when I saw it, and everyone just looked at me. Fanny also make jam.

Phishez, turns out that grated tuna is actually bloody disgusting. Nasty, nasty Fanny.

Marcheline, I think there is added confusion because fanny over here means a lady's private area, and it means your arse in the US, right? I don't think I would particularly like tuna from either.

Mark, Peru was big on the vultures. Vultures galore. But they weren't keen on the open graves - there really wasn't anything left to pick at, and I don't think they're too keen on bones.

10:06 am  
Blogger Miss Devylish said...

Did you bring back any bones? Those open graves are odd.. they all look like they're just hanging out.. you know, w/out skin tho.

My aunt and uncle used to live in Peru a long time ago to teach. All I ever heard was how crazy the driving was. :)

8:02 am  
Blogger GBE said...

Miss Devylish, no I didn't, but it would've been a great story. "What's that you've got in your hand?" "Oh, it's somebody's arm!" And yes, there was some crazy crazy driving going on. I would be dead in about thirty seconds if I took the wheel.

1:13 pm  
Blogger Malik Imran Awan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:18 pm  

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